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    Postpartum depression and shame

    Today I am linking to an article I submitted to Aye Gyal. Aye Gyal is an online publication that features stories from women from the Caribbean and Diaspora. They emphasize stories that are real and filled with human emotion. Aye Gyal is the brain child of Carlana Charles, storyteller, story coach for women and visionary of FemmePowered. Did I also mention she is my sister?

    For some time I wanted to talk about my struggle with postpartum depression and the shame I experienced with it, but never found the right platform to share. I feel that Aye Gyal is the perfect place for me to share, as they promote a safe space for women. Pop over and read my contribution. Feel free to comment, share and like.

    10 things I’ve learnt about motherhood

    Seems like only yesterday he was a newborn in my arms. Now today I attended his day care’s sports!!! Where did the time go???I feel as if it was only yesterday I was coming home with him, all swaddled up. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.  Excited yet sad to see his growth and development. My ‘baby’ is quickly disappearing and a little boy is emerging. Now I see this independent little toddler running about and and emerging as a person of his own.

    I thought it would be great to reflect and share about 10 things I have learnt in the first three years of motherhood, reflecting on the first year of his life, in particular.

    1. Giving birth no matter the method – Is so worth it:
    I had a planned C-Section and it was no where as bad and horrid as they said it would be. In fact, I was told I bounced back much sooner than expected.
    I now sport a scar, and that’s ok.. because I have my son!

    2. Baby Laundry:
    I typically do laundry once a week… not with my son! How could such a little cutie pie have so much dirty laundry? This part of the whole motherhood story I was given, was totally
    downplayed.

    3.  Nipples stretch and hurt and they LEAK:
    Pretty self explanatory! I never knew it was possible..but yes, they do STRETCH! As for leaky boobs.. gosh I had it baddddd.. Even at this stage, if I don’t nurse him for a full day, it leaks!

    4. Time becomes precious:
    Between my 9-5, my husband and chasing my son… the time in between has become very precious. The moments I get alone is golden, and most time its spent blogging or catching up on
    much needed sleep.

    5. Parenting philosophies sometimes go out the window:
    For some reason, all my totally awesome plans on raising my son… remained just that – Plans! Example, I said I was going to read him a book every week, (hangs head in shame), planned to make baby food from scratch, (hangs head in shame),  No TV before two years (again hanging head in shame). So I haven’t read to him as much as I would of liked, nor have I made his baby food from scratch, and yes, he sometimes is placed in from the TV while I hustle to get ready for work or take a quick shower! So What??? I am busy being his mom and the more he grows the more I have forced to cut him a little more slack.

    6. Guilty feeling of needing a break from baby:
    Man did I feel guilty when I started sighing with relief when I had the opportunity to be away from my munchkin! I love my son to bits and can’t imagine my life without him, but sometimes Mama needs a break! I remember the first time I left him, I felt awful.. my mom had to sit me down and explain to me that a break is needed from my sanity. She was so correct! We just need a little time to re-group sometimes. It makes us better mommies!!!

    7. Not wanting to be touched:
    Well perhaps this one is just me. I recall in the early months after his birth, I did not want to be touched, by anyone, not even my husband… WORDDDDDD. Not just in a sexual way but be touched or hugged in general.  I felt like my son met and even exceed my daily ‘touch quota‘ and anyone adding to this would just throw me over the edge.  It was difficult to understand, but thankfully, it soon passed.

    8. You never really sleep:
    I LOVE to sleep!! I’ve been know to fall asleep without notice! In pregnancy I had no excuses to fight my sleepiness, and so I slept… Now, I long for such sleep.  My son is not yet sleeping through the night, but even if he did, I wouldn’t.  When he turns, sneezes, coughs etc.. I’m up! It’s exhausting but I’ve been managing quite well on little sleep.

    9. No more hot tea:
    I love a good cup of hot tea! With my son I am only able to enjoy this when I am at work.  I dare not drink it while holding him, because his little but very swift hands will be sure to yank it out or knock it down. Plus for some reason I always remember something to do while sipping my my chai tea: it usually goes like this: remembers something, rests cup down, does that thing, comes back to tea, sips some more, remembers something else, does that, comes back, TEA IT COLD!!!!!!

    10. Don’t beat yourself up:
    I think one of the most freeing things I’ve learn is to not beat myself up. I was told that I was not able to really bond with my son as he was born via section.. OH REALLY!?? There could not be a tighter bond!!!  Babies grow way too fast. I refuse to waste time thinking about what I could have done different, what I should have done. My son is happy, healthy, well and he knows that he is love. He is surrounded by love and laughter! All his needs are met to the best of our ability.. and at the end of the day, that’s what really matter!

    No matter the day I’ve had, there is absolutely nothing better than coming home to my little love bug! He makes me happy to be alive to see his happiness… and his sloppy wet kisses are the bestest!

    Thanks for reading and do share in the comments!

    Positive thinking on the journey to bliss

    When last did you check your thoughts? It is said that our thoughts can become things. You may be surprised to know how often we think unintentionally and depending on the thought, our well-being and blissful state can be interrupted.

    I’ve struggled a lot with keeping my thoughts together! My mind tend to stray to multiple thoughts even in the midst of conversations! Recently I have been reading a lot on thinking positively and the power of intentional thinking.  In the few months since, I have realized that positive thinking makes such a huge difference and impact us in ways we are yet to understand.

    The Bible teaches us in Philippians 4:8, to Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Even as a Christian, this is not always so easy to do. However, I have been striving to think positive, speak positive, live meaningfully and find my blissful place.

    Im getting better and better at it everyday. Let me share what Ive learnt with you thus far as to why thinking positive can help you find your blissful

    1. The things we think on becomes us and we become the things we think. This basically says that whatever we spend our time thinking on are the things that we would attract in our lives. If this is true, then we need not think of the bad things but focus our thoughts on the positive, lovely, pure and pleasant things. Of course Im fully aware that bad stuff happens, but positive thinking even in the midst of the trying times helps get us through and leaves us more blissful.

    2. Give negative thoughts no breeding ground. Constantly think on the positives while giving no room to the negative. Count your blessing and allow positive thoughts to become positive actions and words.  Pondering all of the good things in your life will help you find that happy and blissful place.

    3. Seize opportunity. Every day we wake, we have a new blessing! Seize the day! Attack each new day with purpose and passion and vigor. If your thoughts were not so lovely yesterday, do better today, and tomorrow and the day after. Let positive thoughts become you.

    These tips may sound simple, but I’ve found them to be so profound and I hope you will find them so too.

    Allow me to introduce myself

     

    I love connections and meeting people with shared interests. Welcome to my blog! I’m so glad that you are here. Allow me to introduce myself.

    Who am I

    My name is Keri and my middle name is Nicole, hence the blog’s name – KayNicole.  I am Trinidadian by birth but pretty much grew up in Grenada, the Spice Island of the Caribbean. I am a wife and a mommy to two awesome kids. Currently I work in Human Resource and I love it!

    What I share

    I would like to think that I run a lifestyle blog. My life and all that revolves around it, within reason would be shared. My babies, my faith, my passions, adventures and my beautiful Island – and all that it entails.

    My blogging purpose

    Blogs generate awareness about an individual or a brand. It’s an awesome tool to establish an authority and make people trust you. I want you to trust me. Yes you can, even if we never meet in person, but trust that I will be here to provide content that is engaging. If we have shared interests we can create a dialogue and create an online friendship where we can encourage, check in with each other, rant when necessary and share ideas.  I want to be your cheerleader as you journey to living with intent and choosing joy daily. We can do it together.. shall we?

    Ok great, you’re still here 🙂!! Connect with me. Drop me an email. Comment. Subscribe. I want to hear from you.